July 2012

Who are you?

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

~Judy Garland~

Sometimes it takes someone pointing out the obvious for us to really get it.  This past week, a friend said something to me that really got my attention.  He basically told me, you are who you are.  You are not someone else.  Stop beating yourself over the head trying to get others to see you the way you see yourself.  Be you.

Now, you can call my personality whatever you wish; emotional, annoying, controlling, type A, etc.  However, I have never had a problem with who I am.  I am passionate about life, take things to heart, feel for others, and often run very hot and cold.  I know who I am when it comes to this part of me.  There were times where I forgot, momentarily, who I was.  But ultimately, I have never had an issue with being me.  As a matter a fact, the passion that I have for things is what drives me in life.  It is what has moved me through the difficult times, what got me through school when I wanted to give up, what pushes me daily in my job, and what makes me different from the person next to me.

As I look back on my life, I realize that this attitude I have towards life was there long before I got married, and is still a big part of me.  The one thing that has changed is that I never used to care what others thought of me.  I never allowed it to get to me.  However, I have noticed that I now allow others to tell me I’m wrong for my decision to be who I am.  I have been told that my feelings, reactions, or emotions are not normal and that I need to change, in one way or another.  What is worse is that I have allowed what others think of me, or their perception, to envelop me to the core.  Ultimately, this only affects me in the end, causing me to be upset and angry because of what others think.

Although I’m not, nor ever will be, perfect, I am who I am.  I am not someone else.  Are there areas I need to work on (facial expressions or things that periodically escape my mouth, for instance)?  Of course there are.  I am human after all.  Even so, we are each uniquely created individuals and it is not my job to behave the way someone else thinks I should or see the world the way they do.  And, more importantly, it is my job to be secure in who I am and not expect others to see myself the way I do.  If they don’t, it’s ok.  We should be confident in who we are, so long as we are not hurting, or misleading, others with our actions.  So, when someone tells you to be, or act, differently, take the time to consider if it is necessary to make that change, or if that is just some else’s opinion on how you should live your life.

You are you, and that is beautiful.

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