domestic violence · growth · healing

Letting Go to Move Forward

To Live Effective and Enjoyable Lives, We Can’t Waste Any More Time On Yesterday.

attachment_86757132It is a common issue of many to live in the past. I personally believe that most of our sadness and pain comes directly from our inability to let go of what has hurt us and focus on what brings us joy. We bring this pain on ourselves because we are inept at letting it go.

If only I had done…
If I was still with so and so…
Why do these things happen to me…
I wasted so much time…
I would be in a better place if only…
If my parents had treated me better…
If I had finished school…
If such and such had not happened…

And, the list goes on.

Humans are great at making excuses, holding on to our grief, and refusing to move on with a focus on all the wonderful things we have in our lives. I’m not judging. I am as guilty as anyone of this behavior. I’ve harbored hatred, anger, and self-pity for years; feeling bad for myself, for my situation, and brooding over years of lost time, regrets, and fears.

But, in doing this, we are only hurting ourselves and our chances of finding happiness. Every time we focus on the past, dwell on our insecurities (caused by our past), or regret the path not taken, we are missing out on all the wonderful things that are currently surrounding us.

You have to be open to them. You have to open your eyes and your heart to take in the beauty that is around you. Find it in yourself to be content and happy where you are right this moment. Find the peace in yourself to love yourself and all that you have to offer the world. Know that this is your path. This is exactly where you are supposed to be; even if you do not understand or particularly enjoy it.

This process takes practice. It takes falling down, struggling, and starting over. In the end, however, with focus and determination, it can become a part of how you approach each and every day. And that will be when you start to notice that life is coming together. That is where you will find your peace.

I challenge each of you to use the start of this new year to focus on your happiness. Let go of your past. Your past hurts, your past abuser(s), your past fears. Leave them behind and practice letting them float away each time they enter your mind. Replace those thoughts with thoughts of love, kindness, appreciation, and peace. And, no matter how many times you think you have failed, do not allow yourself to spiral. Just start again with the next negative thought.

Let your past go so that you can fully live your own future. I wish you all a beautiful and fulfilling 2017.

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